British Women Embrace Islam In Growing

Numbers and Abide by its Teachings

Many British people wonder why British women convert to Islam, as a growing number of the latter have become Muslim. More than that, some people have been shocked by this change whose very reality they cannot grasp. For they know that during the biggest part of this century (20th c.) women have struggled for their own freedom at home and at the work place, and yet willingly embrace Islam, which is wrongly considered by the former as hindering women’s freedom. The shock caused by this change comes from the fact that British women’s conversion to Islam is growing in numbers, which unofficial statistics have estimated at more than twenty thousand during the last years. Moreover, most of these new Muslim British women are educated and come from the middle class.

Ruqaya Maqsud, the Director of the Islamic Studies Department at a boys’ secondary school in Hull, said that she grew up in Kent in South England ; her name was Rosalyn Rochbrook and her father was a small businessman. She studied at the University of Hull before getting married to the poet George Kendrick to whom she bore two children. Then they divorced after twenty three years of marriage. Later, she embraced Islam and got married to Warith, a Pakistani Muslim.

Ruqaya went on to say that her parents were not religious, but they sent her to a Sunday school in order to teach her Christian values and ideals and enable her to have a strong tie with Christianity. The religious education course at school was among her favourite courses. She later got a university degree in theology from Hull University.

She added : “At school, I had innocent relationships with boys, but when I went to university, I became a little frivolous : I drank wine, smoked and went to discos. I had male friends and boyfriends as well. When I graduated, I married George, who had been my fellow student, and our marriage lasted for twenty three years. Though we were living together our marriage was not a happy one ; and we realized that we would not make each other happy, thus we decided to divorce. So as to pay the monthly instalments of my house’s mortgage, I was forced to rent rooms of my house to students, among whom were some Muslim students. I always knew about Islam as a result of teaching the religious education course. For the  first time I witnessed the actual practice of Islam by the Muslim students who rented a room in my house. I was fascinated by their sedateness and the complete security which I felt with them, for they did not steal or do anything harmful.”

Ruqaya went on to say : “By talking to them, I learnt a lot about Islam, family values, objectivity, honour, and the importance of all this to them. Their behaviour reminded me of the way people behaved in Britain fifty years ago. Whenever I got into contact with Islam, my understanding of it and belief in it became greater. I realized that Islam reinforces all the values taught by Jesus Christ to his followers and recognizes him as a great Messenger of Allah. In simple terms, Islam teaches that Jesus is not the son of God but one of His Messengers like Muhammad (PBUH). Whenever I went to the church I felt a desire for becoming a Muslim. In the end, I realized that I must have a stand in life so as to organize my own life. One day, I realized that I could not check this feeling for a longer period. Thus, I called the Muslim students in my house to the living room whereupon I announced my conversion to Islam in front of them by saying the ‘Shahadatain’. I had a strange feeling, but it was a good feeling which made me feel that I had returned home.”

Ruqaya went on to talk about her conversion to Islam saying : “The following day after announcing my conversion, I had to give up drinking wine and eating pork. In fact, I had to change my shopping list. Meat had to be Halal and I had to reconsider the ingredients of some food products so as to make sure that they did not contain animal oil or fats. I also had to wear the Hijab and a decent long dress. I had to get rid of my old clothes as they did not suit my new religion ; I gave them to Oxfam. I did not resent wearing a long dress that reached my anklebones, but it is very difficult for an English woman to sacrifice her hair. I always used to look after my hair by going to the hairdresser. But with the Hijab there was no need for that anymore. In the beginning, I did not feel comfortable in the Hijab, but with time I started to get used to it and liked wearing it. For Islam gives the woman a feeling of security and protection, not like Western society. Muslims do not force the woman to appear showy in her dress and make up. They do not criticise her clothes as long as they are decent. I did not have to change my name after my conversion to Islam, but out of desire for innovation, I chose the name of Ruqaya because it was beautiful. My mother found it difficult to pronounce and remained calling me “Rose”. She and my father considered me, at first, as having betrayed Jesus Christ, but they have now a better understanding of Islam and are happy about my conversion.”

Ruqaya continued : “I was on a visit to Pakistan so as to do research for a book that I was writing ; I met Warith, the man who later became my husband. I returned to Britain and beseeched Allah to crown my marriage with success. We used to communicate by phone through two interpreters. Our marriage took place in Ramadan which meant that eating, drinking, smoking and having sexual intercourse at daytime were not allowed, which is very difficult for a newly married couple. I learnt that it is bad behaviour on the part of a Muslim not to receive guests and feed them, no matter how expensive this may cost him. When some Bosnian refugees came to Hull during the Bosnian War, Warith supposed that I would be happy to receive some of them in our house. This was very tiring as Warith did not help with the housework on account that it was my responsibility. But I have to admit my admiration for the Muslims’ readiness to help people in time of adversity.”  

Ruqaya went on to say : “In Islam, marriage lasts because it organizes matters between people and does not rely on romantic expectations for its continuation. You may not be happy 100 per cent about your marriage, but it is your duty to make this marriage continue, while in Western society a small dispute may blow it away. Sometimes, I get fed up with my new life and feel that I need to go to a restaurant or even to a pub, but I ask God to save me from Satan and discard these ideas from my head. Becoming a Muslim has brought up a radical change in my life ; it has offered me a lot of peace and given my life a meaning and content. There is no contradiction between my being British and being a Muslim. I expect that in twenty years the number of British Muslims will be equal to that of the immigrants in Britain. I don’t see that I have gone backward by becoming a Muslim ; on the contrary, I think that I have obtained my full freedom.”

Huda Khattab, who grew up in Blackpool under the name of Samantha and whose father was inspector of a nuclear station, said : “I embraced Islam when I was at university, I got married to Nacer – a Syrian civil engineer. We had two children ; we live in Milton Kinz where I am writing books about Islam. My family was not religious, but my brothers and I used to go to Sunday schools during our primary education. We grew up in a respected family and brought up in the manner of British families. When I was 12 years old, my parents divorced, which had a bad impact on me. Though I was the first of my class, I did not enjoy going to school. My classmates -boys and girls alike- intimidated me because I was in an overcrowded class ; I had a small number of friends, but not in the context of parties, drinking, smoking and taking drugs though I tried to drink wine then.”

She went on to say : “My social life consisted in being a member of a youth club affiliated to the Church ; I used to go to parties but I did not have a boyfriend ; I sat with girls and chatted with them. Actually, I was not a timid girl ; I loved going out and having fun, but I had a natural feeling that it was not appropriate for a girl to have several boyfriends ; I had always felt that I had to preserve my virginity for my marriage.”

She continued : “I got good marks and registered at the School of Oriental and African Studies in London University in order to study the Arabic language. At this point of time, my knowledge of Islam was confused. But as  soon as I started studying Arabic, I found myself attracted to the Islamic way. One of my professors was a Muslim, and I started meeting Muslims and see how they lived. Thus, I developed a good impression of Islam. I saw how Muslim families lived, even when they were scattered around the world. May be, this was the result of the instability of my family. I was also fascinated by the Islamic way of life, and attracted by the moral values in the Islamic system. The prohibition of sex before marriage pleased me, too, because it confirmed my personal conviction that it was wrong to have sex before marriage. However, the feature that I like most in Islam is the Hijab worn by Muslim women in the presence of male strangers. After the intimidation I suffered at the hands of my classmates in childhood, I like the idea of not concentrating on the woman’s body.”

Huda remarked : “Islam’s view of the woman’s body is different from that of Western culture which encourages the woman to be sexually provocative while accusing her of provoking men to rape her, whereas the Hijab gives a clear indication that women were not created in this life to boast of their bodies’ beauty. After the first Easter vacation following my conversion to Islam, I reached the conviction that I knew a lot about Islam ; but each time I discover that I am learning a new thing about Islam. I visited the Regent Park Mosque in London (The Mosque of the Islamic, Cultural Centre in London) where I met Yusuf Islam, the former Pop music singer (Cat Stevens), and an American woman who had converted to Islam ; they both spent a long time with me. Two months after this meeting, I decided to announce my conversion to Islam in the Mosque in the presence of a group of women whom I came to know there during my frequent visits to the Mosque in the two months prior to the announcement of my conversion.

I said the ‘Shahadatain’ which are the oath of changing to Islam. After this, I was invited by one of them to her house so as to celebrate my embracing Islam, which made me feel their welcoming me as a new Muslim. I felt some awe, but at the same time, some comfort. My feeling was like that of a person who had returned home after a long absence. Some days later I moved to a Muslim women’s hostel where I learned how to live like a Muslim woman.”

Huda continued : “I found out that some practical acts in Islam were easier than others. Performing prayer five times a day was not a problem for me as a new Muslim, but wearing the full Hijab took me six months to get used to. I was anxious about people’s attitude towards my wearing the Hijab. However, I gradually got self confidence, and my clothes (the Hijab) are now ordinary for me. I changed my name to Huda which means spiritual guidance, for I felt that my life started anew after my conversion to Islam. However, my family members are still calling me Sam, and my embracing Islam has been a shock for all of them.

My father considered all this as something strange to us. There was a feeling among the members of my family that Islam had taken me away from them. They had believed for a long time that this was just a stage of my life that would pass, and then I would resort to my previous state. Nevertheless, they have gradually started to get accustomed to seeing me as a Muslim.

Huda remarked : “Socially speaking, I have started to know my true friends after I became a Muslim. Some of these friends were amazed by my conversion to Islam, but they preserved their friendship with me while others simply did not care or want to know. I got married when I was at university. I wanted an arranged marriage following Islamic traditions, but I gave up this idea after realizing that a number of Muslims considered me as an entry visa to this country for their relatives. Finally, I felt that I was ready for marrying a Muslim. I talked about this to a female friend whom I trusted, asking her to look for a suitable Muslim husband for me.

Through friends, she arranged for me a meeting with Nacer, a Syrian civil engineer living in Britain. I was anxious and nervous ; I looked after myself so as to appear attractive and beautiful. That evening was like a collective meeting. I was looking for a good Muslim person who would be my friend and who would intellectually urge me to know more about Islam.”

We left after that meeting and each one of us was thinking about the other. I knew that I loved Nacer, and the following day I heard that he loved me too. We met several times after that, then we got engaged, and in six months time we got married. I suppose that such a marriage makes many Western women anxious about getting married without having sexual intercourse with their partner so as to know whether this marriage is going to last or not. Before marriage, I was anxious about the possibility of lack of congeniality between me and my husband though I was in love with him from our first meeting. However, marriage was a step that we made together. Like all couples we went through different stages, but we helped each other in making our marriage a happy one and making most of our time special. My husband was handsome and gentle, but I had not expected these characteristics. I did not think that I would marry a fat man, but what was more important for me then was whether my husband would be a friend for me or not.

Nacer had not seen me without a Hijab till after we got married. I did not know whether he knew some of my physical characteristics or not. However, luckily for us we were always very happy. Like every wife, I had to get accustomed to cooking and preparing food for our guests. Nacer had no knowledge of cooking though he suggested some Syrian dishes to me.

We organized our life in the traditional way, for he works full-time while I work part-time and take care of house matters. Our life continued in this way, each one of us respecting the other’s role. Certainly, I wish that Nacer would change the baby’s diapers more often, but my brother resembles him in this respect.”